Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
