he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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