woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize