I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
