WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
