Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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