am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
40s are totally the cure
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
