We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
