And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
