i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Its about making memories worth repressing
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
