Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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