I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
