They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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