My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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