i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
