chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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