R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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