you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
