Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You don't make any sense
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