My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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