I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
