I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
