If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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