Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
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At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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