38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
