I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
