just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
