If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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