I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent