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• (630): View more from Illinois

  life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

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• (516): View more from New York

  He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks

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• (458): View more from Oregon

  I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.

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• (310): View more from California

  Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you

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