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• (503): View more from Oregon

  It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  fucking a dude

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i mean: fucking a, dude

  (703): View more from Virginia

  wow, that comma made all the difference there

  Fav 93 11826 1501

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.

  Fav 22 1675 3627

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..

  Fav 5 2836 1488

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

  Fav 24 5700 1738

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I had to brake up with him.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  In my experience drinking helps.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You dont want to know why?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Not really. I want to drink.

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• (925): View more from California

  I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.

  (1-925): View more from California

  We just have a real special relationship.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness

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• (510): View more from California

  Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom

  Fav 2 1089 492

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated

  Fav 5 939 373

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.

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