he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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