when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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