I want to walk on stilts...naked
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's just like the Real World with babies
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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