Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize