If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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