Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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