i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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