WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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