mondays should just be called national damage control day
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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