There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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