just tell him i said nine months
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
