I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
