That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just invented taco cereal.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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