I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
