so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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