out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
