is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
