Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
