i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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