i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
