I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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