i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
