I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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