Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
