What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
