You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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