The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
