Nicole vs. Life
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
