Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
