Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
