OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize