You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
