he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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