She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
