i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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