she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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