I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
