So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She's the barista slut.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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