Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
