ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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