So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize