i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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