So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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